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Help me find a place to live & take care of my 5 month old!!!

boink started this conversation

I'm a 19 year old single mom of a 5 month of baby boy who means absolutely the whole entire world to me. I have put my education on hold for about a year so that I can spend as much time with him as possible. The birth father wants nothing to do with my baby's life so I get no child support. I got kicked out of my parents house when he was born and now am going from place to place trying to make ends meet. I just lost my job at the mall & my car is done for. I have maybe 200.00 in my bank account but that will only pay for about a month of food for the both of us. If anyone could just help me out I would appreciate it so much. I just need some help getting back on my feet. To get a vehicle so that I can get another job in order to support us on my own. Even a donation of $1 will help out so much. I'm really in a bind and am trying to make things work. I have tried the state to help out and they really haven't done anything. I am not expecting for a miracle just a little help is all. Thank you!!! 

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takingcare4u2
I wonder how things went with yo. Now that it is 12/20/13
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Dj sha   in reply to segj048
Top page right should b a menu button an it will say 1 on1
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Dj sha   in reply to segj048
well it should be connected to your email that you used when you signed up but if you go to menu at top click one on one will take you to that page than it will have a yellow box I think with a person who has one on one you than click and you will see there message many people use one on one to warn you of scammers or ask for help because if you reply on these threads with your info it is visable to the whole world and a lot of people don't know post numbers and addresses that will always be there
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segj048   in reply to Dj sha
I was trying to figure out how to access the one-on-one...not sure where to go for that?
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Dj sha   in reply to segj048
there are many different links that date years back but you can access all post thur the main page also have you checked your one on one? I did message you some info
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segj048
And this is dated 2007...hm, maybe I missed something
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segj048
I think telling someone that they shouldn't have gotten pregnant is a little silly...We're a bit past that point now and she's looking for any help she can get, even if It's just "$1". I hope your situation starts looking up soon, hang in there
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DawnMarie8251961   in reply to GABBYMAMA12
ARE YOU SERIOUS??? YOU ARE ON THE WRONG SITE!!! WE DO NOT USE THAT LANGUAGE OR JUDGE UNLESS YOU ARE PERFECT WHICH I HIGHLY DOUBT USING THAT LANGUAGE!!!
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joce   in reply to Anonymous
You are ridiculous. Just because you have a court order doesn't mean you get child support. You can be responsible and still get pregnant. Can't stop a man from walking away. In case you haven't noticed economy is in bad shape. Some people have been looking for jobs.
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AmyEdith   in reply to kmw97
I am not a policy maker, but I do have a vision. At best, I hope to be a influencer of something positively profound, that comes from a good place, for the overall good of people. Especially, those who have historically had a faint voice (women & children). I only ask that no stone go unturned for improvements to the existing structure. I am not talking about entitlement to things. For starters, I am talking about children under 8 being entitled to quality time provided by at least one custodial. This is not happening for rich or poor kin alike and it is NOT the child's fault. I was raised by poor and I feel I was terribly neglected by a 19 yr old mother who left me at 4am to work in a factory and barely returned in time to tuck me in bed at night. You all are fixated on this women, who would have personally been better off with abortion, but what about the child who did not have the choice?

My mother was being "responsible", but it damaged me (when I found out I was pregnant, at 30 with a solid career, I almost turned to adoption in fear my kids would not have adequate security, attention and/or a two parent home... the children's father talked me out of it). As a result, I have an insatiable need for security beyond food, air, handmade clothes, and a straw house. I don't expect "luxuries," if you will, to fall into anyone's lap. However, I am asking the world to extend basic needs into an emotional realm that has never been explored as a need before. YES! It would be nice! Once upon a time there was a truly malnourished women, with child on a street corner in the USA saying the same thing. No person should feel this way as a result of their unmet childhood needs. Where there is one, there is likely to be a million.

A great-grandmother, who "raised" me died when I was in college accumulating $70,000 in student loans at a top college that has served me well with opportunity, passed while pursuing education. Despite climbing up the ladder to mid-six figures (I still owe a little less than interest ten years later). Thank God, someone who loved me, as a mother raised me with old fashioned virtues (my kids were not aborted, based on beliefs that were relatively black and white). Grammy lived on $4700 a year in something of a hut. Yet, managed to assist me with $50/month while I was getting an education. This women saw me working two jobs, while in college, active on campus, and is the only saint I have ever known!

As a single parent of two toddlers, I had been making mid-six figures when I lost my full-time job. The father hides all his assets in foreign country safe havens accounts, plays poor, even collects public assistance from time to time. He has been ordered and agreed to pay a meager $1000/mo of his small fortune, that has never been collected. All the while, we live in a 508sf property that is in now in default, and do not see a penny in support. I unexpectedly, supported him for almost 4 years, while the children were being raised by daycare. He often asked me for financial help despite, what I had found about his financial health by installing spyware on my personal computer, that he used during our marriage.

Now that I can not afford daycare for my toddlers, I can see how much they had been starving for time and attention; I see myself as a child. I am caught between two lines, with a drained 401K, and a hinderance to an effective career, I can choose to leave the child rearing to others while I pursue a career or to live in poverty and neither option will benefit them in the way they deserve during critical years. I feel raped and want my children to have a mother whose main focus in life is them (If I hear one more get a sugar daddy mentality insult, I will scream). People who have not taken an opportunity to be home with their children are most likely clueless to the disadvantage it puts them.
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kmw97   in reply to AmyEdith
Although this 'sounds' like the solution, how do you expect children who are coming from poverty to be covered by their families? In many cases teen parents are in these situations because the fathers don't work, and the families are not in a situation to provide assistance as they are barely getting by themselves. I fully agree that fathers need to step up and provide, but there are flaws with this as well. No one is forced to have children, of course mistakes happen, but motherhood is a CHIOCE! Wouldn't we all love to work part time and have our financial stress relieved in the name of motherhood, I know I would love to give all my time to focus on being the best mom possible. This is not reality, we are living in the real world. You have to work, to pay bills, to provide for your children, that you 'chose' to have. Plenty of well adjusted children are raised in limited income families, while it may be tough, you raise them to understand the value of hard work, living within your means, and appreciation for the things they have been blessed with. What you are proposing, sounds to me, like raising children to believe they are entitled to something simply for choosing to have children, how is this any different than welfare? I have no problem with receiving assistance to get you to a stable place, or asking for help. I was a teen mother, I worked 5-6 days a week, sometimes 16 hrs a day, because that is what I had to do to provide for my son. I am now 34 and finishing up school to get an Associates degree, I planned a very different path for myself, but the day I 'chose' to become a mother I had to make some changes to that plan. We cannot raise children to believe they are entitled to ANYTHING! That is one of the biggest problems in today's society. If you want a career and advancement in the workplace, you HAVE TO WORK for it. It is a know fact that motherhood is one of the hardest jobs, the compansation for it is not monetary, it's actually way better in my opinion, but that is only my opinion. Can you imagine how many people would be running around having babies if they knew for 8 years they would "NEVER be reduced to the standard of welfare", would only have to work 20hrs a week or less, but would be compensated at the median level? This is crazy, what reason would anyone have for setting and achieving goals if they could make more being a stay at home mom? Not to mention, why should siblings, parents and grandparents, etc be forced to raise and support children they didn't choose to have? ENTITLEMENT is a disease children these days are exposed to, whether they are rich, middle class or poor, I guarentee you a child raised in a lower income, hard working, loving home is going to be more well adjusted that the one who sits home with mommy all day listening to her talk about how sheis entitled to a comfortable, stress free life to raise her children. I honestly don't mean to bash your plan, but the sense of entitlement today's children are being raised with is the exact reason we are nit producing GREAT leaders. To be a great leader, or anything great for that matter, you need to be a hard worker, have a high moral and ethic standards, practice compassion, empathy and honesty.... These qualities are what children need to be being raised with! These are all quite the opposite of entitlement!
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kmw97   in reply to AmyEdith
Although this 'sounds' like the solution, how do you expect children who are coming from poverty to be covered by their families? In many cases teen parents are in these situations because the fathers don't work, and the families are not in a situation to provide assistance as they are barely getting by themselves. I fully agree that fathers need to step up and provide, but there are flaws with this as well. No one is forced to have children, of course mistakes happen, but motherhood is a CHIOCE! Wouldn't we all love to work part time and have our financial stress relieved in the name of motherhood, I know I would love to give all my time to focus on being the best mom possible. This is not reality, we are living in the real world. You have to work, to pay bills, to provide for your children, that you 'chose' to have. Plenty of well adjusted children are raised in limited income families, while it may be tough, you raise them to understand the value of hard work, living within your means, and appreciation for the things they have been blessed with. What you are proposing, sounds to me, like raising children to believe they are entitled to something simply for choosing to have children, how is this any different than welfare? I have no problem with receiving assistance to get you to a stable place, or asking for help. I was a teen mother, I worked 5-6 days a week, sometimes 16 hrs a day, because that is what I had to do to provide for my son. I am now 34 and finishing up school to get an Associates degree, I planned a very different path for myself, but the day I 'chose' to become a mother I had to make some changes to that plan. We cannot raise children to believe they are entitled to ANYTHING! That is one of the biggest problems in today's society. If you want a career and advancement in the workplace, you HAVE TO WORK for it. It is a know fact that motherhood is one of the hardest jobs, the compansation for it is not monetary, it's actually way better in my opinion, but that is only my opinion. Can you imagine how many people would be running around having babies if they knew for 8 years they would "NEVER be reduced to the standard of welfare", would only have to work 20hrs a week or less, but would be compensated at the median level? This is crazy, what reason would anyone have for setting and achieving goals if they could make more being a stay at home mom? Not to mention, why should siblings, parents and grandparents, etc be forced to raise and support children they didn't choose to have? ENTITLEMENT is a disease children these days are exposed to, whether they are rich, middle class or poor, I guarentee you a child raised in a lower income, hard working, loving home is going to be more well adjusted that the one who sits home with mommy all day listening to her talk about how sheis entitled to a comfortable, stress free life to raise her children. I honestly don't mean to bash your plan, but the sense of entitlement today's children are being raised with is the exact reason we are nit producing GREAT leaders. To be a great leader, or anything great for that matter, you need to be a hard worker, have a high moral and ethic standards, practice compassion, empathy and honesty.... These qualities are what children need to be being raised with! These are all quite the opposite of entitlement!
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AmyEdith   in reply to AmyEdith
Moreover, this is a gender issue... women do NOT value their own worth enough to speak up and say I demand more for my children AND MYSELF! Wouldn't you call this a form of modern day slavery? Call a a spade for a spade; The joy of raising children, is also work. People are encouraged to seek joy in what they do in any other profession. We need to start treating it like a profession or it will remain under supported and keep turning out unruly people who repeat history. Having one child and staying home 5 years (even while working as much as time permits) costs a women a disproportionate amount of lifetime earnings compared to a man, who is only required to contribute 17-25% of his/her total earnings to child support. For those who manage to keep a full-time job while raising children alone, are you able to do your job well enough to reach career milestones that lead to raises (this is a cost)? How can anyone put a price on loosing prime time? If one lets life take advantage of them it will. Don't think you are helping anyone by sucking it up and taking time away from vulnerable children who need QUALITY parental support! If we are going to do this job we need to be in a position to do it well... When are we really going to start helping each other, stop just getting by, and start taking a stand for children without be ashamed it will may help our life too? Let's start living!
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AmyEdith   in reply to GABBYMAMA12
You are an insensitive soul who has no regard for children! You are basically telling her child to pick a doughnut up off the floor and to eat it... Neglect, poverty, etc... has helped few raise well-adjusted children. Mother's should want better than this for children and it is OK if they benefit too. This child is bound to suffer and she is brave for asking for help! Unless, you are soccer mom paying your own bills, with zero outside support (including a phone call from your mommy) you need to be enlightened!

How many companies fail to invest in their people and go on to do great things? Why does the world expect great future leaders when the general mentality of the noncustodial and/or primary breadwinner is "God forbid I pay for the comfort of the air a child's caregiver breaths?" Raising children is an important job. Although it doesn't require an application, it deserves a raise. How do you think financial woes affect a caregiver's ability to raise a well-adjusted child? Should innocent children be forced into a life of poverty over an irresponsible adult's sense of entitlement to a disproportionate percent of their paycheck, while influencing them from a distance? This population has made bigger strides in preserving the welfare of our earth than it has improving the outlook for our Nation's youth. Caregivers and children should NEVER be reduced to the standard of welfare! In fact, I am for a law against it! Single parents with children under the age of 8 should be barred from carrying an outside workload greater than 20 hours a week and entitled to subsidy bringing them an annual earning rate equal to the median benchmark during these critical years. This difference should be met through a combination of child support and an "extended" family tax to be paid only by those individuals who have immediate family members with a deficit . Something, somewhere needs to give and cause families to work together for good. Transparency, among the wealthy, who are tempted to hide assets in a safe haven or in another family member's name, is not an unrelated issue. There are an alarming number of noncustodial parents living the high life, while their children and caregivers eat thanks to public assistance. The bottom line is... the wrong individuals are making the largest sacrifices and plenty of it is happening due to a lack of accountability. This calls for reform and an extension of responsibility toward the true circle of influence. Unless the debtor declared emancipation before the age of 20, extension of responsibility toward siblings, grandparents, and spouses should be fair game...This is problem with families not just individuals!
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GABBYMAMA12   in reply to asia_love
YOUR AN ADULT NOBODY SHOULD BE SUPPOORTING U! GET OF YOU BUT AND GET A JOB AND GET THAT BABY INTO 4C AND GET THINGS WORKING FOR THAT BABY. THAT BABY DIDNT ASK TO COME TO THIS WORLD U DID, DONT HAVE SEX IF U CANT SUPPORT WHAT RESULT
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mamaw7   in reply to Taradawn
where are you located?
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Taradawn   in reply to rbn
I'm in the EXACT same situation with my 7 month old baby girl. I'm 20 years old, by myself with no help, no support, my car broke down and had to sell it for $400 just to try and get by, I have no transportation to get a job, no where for my baby to go while I work or no one to watch her for me, no money, I just keep going from place to place wherever we can stay. I do get food stamps from the government but every where I go I try to help out with groceries, it's the least I can do (and the only thing I can do) but its all completely gone usually by the first week no matter how hard I try to make it stretch and I'm usually left hungry for the remainder of the whole month. I get to eat once about every other day and I also breast feed my baby which means I need at least 6 small meals a day and it breaks my heart that we're probably both unhealthy because of the simple fact that I can't even eat. I keep breaking down and wanting to give up but my baby is the most important and precious thing to me in my whole existence and all I want is for us to be able to live a good life together, I just can't seem to catch a break or find a way back on my feet. I'm to the point where I want to leave everything behind, and just pick up and go and restart my life with her, I just wouldn't even know where to begin. What I'm wondering is if there is a shelter for other young single moms that maybe I can go to and get away from the real world for a minute and just rest and try to find the love and support I need to make me a better person and help me make it through this.
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rbn   in reply to asia_love
Hello I would like to know more about your situation and where u are? Hubby and I need a bit of help around here . If at all interested we live in NC.
Do you have a contact #?
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asia_love
I am a mother of one baby boy. He is one year old. I have no where to live i cant keep going from house to house. I have no help noone will support me. i dont have a car a job or a house. i love my son i dont want him to get tooken away from me because i have nothing. im only 19 years old as of april 18th.
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Ketsie
My name is ketsie I am a single mom, with four kids, please help me find money to pay my rent and my bills.
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